Part V in a Series: Psychoanalytic Analysis of a Major Life-Changing Event [that of my ex-lover]

May Day 2018                                                                             5/18/18

Fridays used to have greater meaning for me and my buds. Now that I am approaching old folks age, I can still remember some of the details.

About 20 years ago, my best buddy was my spouse and we were very content to order an Avanti pizza, rent a movie from a local Blockbuster shop, and hang out in the living room as a family. This had been going on decades or so until we began watching the Friday night cable TV and rented movies, the kids would go out and play with their friends, as we separately went to the study and worked on the computer and Internet. Sadly, this got old too soon.

Nevertheless, we seemed successful to take this time to recharge for the active weekend and going back to work on Mondays.

 

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Hanging Out – Shhh… Julius Caesar is Napping

About the time our family had achieved “empty nest” status interpersonal relations in the household hit an all-time low. Some of us were willing to work things out and the other parts of us were ready to give up, ‘cut bait’ and go fishing in some other water hole.

I was a lucky one who had Country Corner (pictured above) across the street for me to ‘chillax’, smoke some stogies, drink free excellent coffee and have intercourse (conversations) with neighbors and make new friends. Nowadays, the kind proprietors who operated the corner store have passed away and are having intercourse amongst the angels in heaven.

Excuse me, I have to walk the dog… to be continued…

 

copyright 2018

Max’s Scout Services and Communications of the Americas, LLC

[ for musement only ]

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Dear Abby, What are We Going to Do with Our Roommate “S”

Dear Abby:

A few minutes ago, [11 a.m., 5-2-18] “R” returned to this property. He went out back and grabbed mop heads and BBQ equipment. He also demanded that I write him a check, this one for $50.

Another unsettling event [6:30 p.m. on April 21) happened while I was lying in bed, someone came into my room without knocking. The familiar man was followed by “M”.

‘M’ mentioned that he would be moving back here. ‘M’ did not say that he was moving in immediately.

Is this property becoming a care home, like “A” has on Evergreen?

When I moved here in November, this property was an unlicensed SLE with a resident House Manager. I can handle change but it is really hard for me now as I try to rehabilitate my health.

For the record,

  • On Monday I had an Lumbar-5 procedure on my left side.
  • Tuesday, I received a cortisone shot in my right shoulder.
  • Thursday, I received Orthovasc silicone injections into both knees.
  • Next Tuesday, I get a second opinion from a psychiatrist at Palo Alto Medical Foundation.
  • Ten days ago, I had skin cancer removed from my left cheek (face, not butt ;<) ).
  • This coming Tuesday, I will be returning from same-day surgery. PAMF is doing an endoscopy and I will need to rest for 24 hours afterwards. (oops, Dr. Scott found an ulcer in my small intestine).

A couple weeks ago you offered to move me to the rear BR that was occupied about 2 years by “R”. Almost every day, I have done something to try to clean up the room. It is entirely unfurnished, so I have looked into renting furniture from Cort and getting installation from Xfinity/ Comcast. I’d estimate that rental contracts with Cort and Xfinity would cost $230 and $160 each, respectively. Ms. A. H.” want to rent it furnished. Well, I am have accepted your kind offer.

As one with a recognized disability receiving SS income and trying to supplement my income by writing and publishing, these potential rental arrangements may or may not be viable.

In the meantime, I invited my acquaintances – Matthew and Marie – to take a look at this property. Both are able to take care of themselves, become great housemates, and work for the owner. [I wrote the above a couple hours ago. What follows below was written after 9:00 p.m.]

“S”, in my opinion, is not at all ideal for this household. Furthermore, I from weeks of experience know that he will be a terrible roommate or housemate for me.

The over-riding concern is not his lack of personal hygiene. Not the fact that he appears to be completely deaf and dumb (unable to speak). Poor Scott is ill and not able to take care of himself. In the past, “S” has made no effort to go see doctors or a dentist.

In fact, “S” had agreed with “R” to go to the dentist at UCSF and an appointment was made for February 20. “S” stayed here the entire day.

Dental health may be a minor health issue for “S”. I believe his mental and physical health is very poor. Who will be responsible?

I do not know of anyone who could tolerate “S’s” behavior.

Gross behavior, making noise, and being unwilling to communicate (in writing) or otherwise are additional issues.

Frankly speaking, “S” habitually cuts farts, making no effort to leave the room, go outside, or go sit on the toilet.

“K” said he would manage “S”. During the first 4 hours, I have not seen anything “Ka / Ke” has done to help “S”. Something as simple as using the shower or eating dinner has not been offered to “S”. Now, “K” is out-of-town for weeks, I assume.

Living around “R” was very difficult. Sure, he was a “bully” but he tried to be considerate and urge others to contribute to maintaining the house. With “S”, I have seen little effort put forth on his part to maintain the physical conditions of the house during the weeks we roomed together during January, February, and March.

Note that “S” left suddenly on his own. Packing up and leaving about 9:00 p.m. Why? I believe, to avoid communicating with others and refusing to compromise and more successfully assimilate himself into a shared living situation. I ask for your help in any way that you can. Thank you.

His judgments and behavior are troublesome for the rest of us.

Other annoying and nuisance things that occur daily is “S” walking around half-naked, not washing his hands before preparing food in the kitchen, exposing others to his dermatitis problems with his feet and hands, peeing while the bathroom door is open, slamming doors, sliding the noisy back door during sleeping/quiet hours (10 pm to 6 am), not flushing the toilet, leaving water running in the shower and bathroom sink, laughing ‘diabolically’, putting soiled dishes and silverware back into the kitchen cabinet, rambling verbally on-and-on, and doing things without asking others if it is the right time to do whatever.

Lately, I spend practically an hour a day cleaning up things “S” should be doing in the kitchen, bathroom, dining room, back of the house patio, and the front yard and patio. For instance, I have to rewash dishes, pans, and silverware that “S” uses and attempts to wash and dry. His smoking behavior is not friendly particularly for the family with children that live in 1559 Shoreview. Moore is out of town and cannot intervene. “K” is out of the country and cannot provide care for Scott’s needs.

His diet is questionable given his overweight. “S” mostly consumes white bread, American cheese sandwiches, toast with butter, and sometimes eats the meals delivered Monday through Friday from Samaritan House’s Mobil~Wheels program. A couple days ago, “S” threw five salads from Draeger’s (worth about $11 to $15 each) in the garbage, without consulting with anyone.

Last night, “S” was up during dark hours smoking in the back seating area. I awoke and found a mess of smoking materials in the front patio smoking area.

He (“S”) utters sounds [sounding like a dog, goose, or goul) while sitting by himself that are both intelligible and scare some passersby along Shoreview Avenue. His attempts to say high and be friendly are largely misunderstood and affects other residents’ interrelations with neighbors and strangers walking by.

In summary, he needs better medical care. I have lived with schizophrenics before and his overt behaviors are symptoms that his prescription medicines are NOT effective. Any future delays in seeking proper medical care only make matters worse.

“M” has been a ‘God’s send’ around here. He does not deserve to assume responsibilities for Scott’s physical, spiritual, and mental health.

As a house manager, “M” has much to be responsible for already. Is this now a ‘care home’?

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I hate to think that either “M” or “K” are educated, qualified, and licensed to supervise occupant’s health and personal needs.

It is not fair to them to have “S’s” issues dumped on them.

Today, I learned that a local restaurant gave “S” a job washing dishes. Yet at home he doesn’t. Such is irony. Can we discuss what needs to be purchased for our home? Not likely. But I tried on Sunday.

How can “S” keep a job, keep a place to live, and become healthy? These ought not be our responsibility nor our worries.

Sincerely,

David A. Dailey, Occupant in Room B, 1561 Shoreview, San Mateo, DADailey@gmail.com;

Celebrate Black History Month and Special Thanks to Inventors

American George Washington Carver is probably the most prolific inventor . . . what he did with peanuts and sweet potatoes/yams.

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My favorite has got to be J. B. Rhodes, who in 1899, invented the water closet.

Secondly, I am forever grateful for J. Standard who invented the refrigerator eight years (in 1891) before the modern toilet was available.

The contributions of African-Americans goes on and on. Thank God for their contributions to society!

Resolutions?!? Smitheroochians

Why make resolutions that cannot be achieved?!? Thus, I am picking good things that are achievable (although numbered, these are in no particular order or priority; they are all important). Here are my eighteen resolutions for 2018:
Questions and Answers signpost
1. Just once, when I get a bad haircut . . . be HONEST and tell the hairdresser so.

2. We can be proud about our own and loved ones’ HUMILITY. This has worked for the Dalia Lama, Buddha, and Jesus Christ.

3. TRY to make a good habit = a No Fault Attitude. Practice apologizing, even when I am not at fault. If I do it three times, it may become a habit.
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4. LOVE one another more. Encourage two pairs of people to develop a more caring relationship.

5. Keep in mind my own SAFETY. As a reminder, look at my four fingers and thumb to ‘fight to save’ all five digits.

6. Pick Six . . . Do something good for a FAMILY member that is unsolicited.

7. Accept LUCK. If 7 isn’t my lucky number, obtain a new one.

8. Use the good SENSES I have going for me. Common sense is one, too. What if I went blind tomorrow? Continuing practice walking in the dark or doing simple tasks with my eyes closed.

9. Do not go more than one day in-a-row without prayer, thanks, or meditation.

10. Perform random acts of KINDNESS at least ten times in 2018. Keep track of them but don’t tell others in order to get credit.

11. Be a better sport. CELEBRATE at least eleven times this year after my favorite team loses. This is achievable because my favorite teams lose often.

12. GIVE UP something I like for a week; Once a month.

13. GAIN 13 pounds. Last fall, I was more than 20 pounds underweight.

14. E – E – E – E. Eat and exercise every day. This should be EASY.

15. Reduce ‘Dumb Phone’ use. Go a couple days without phoning or texting my best friend (of course, warn them ahead so as to not generate ‘any bad blood).

16. BUILD on Teamwork. Once and a while, ask for help even if I do not need it.

17. LEARN two new ways to cope with pain.

18. Remain OPTIMISTIC even though the POTUS behaves poorly, those around me do not experience success, and those close to us pass away.

copyright 2018 – Max’s Scout Services & Communications of the Americas

Medi-Cal and “Obama-Care” Hassling Sick Writer in Nor Cali

Just wondering why my care “runs out” tomorrow . . .

 

Convalescent and Rehabilitation Center with Personal Health Crises 11/11/2016

at Cedar Crest, Sunnyvale / Generations Healthcare

cooties

VISION = NEAR-SIGHTED ASTIGMATISM

No corrective lenses

PSYCHOLOGICAL

Tuesdays 9:00 therapy at PAMF with Dr. Link

NUTRITION

Bought vitamins last week

UNDER-WEIGHT

Target  Post-Bariatric surgery = 187; currently less than 167

HYPERTENSION

NOT taking 3 meds. normally prescribed

PAIN MANAGEMENT

Next visit with Dr. Peter Wu on 12-2-2016 at PAMF

BROKEN HAND

Cast to remain on until Friday, November 18, 2016

G I ISSUES

 

ALLERGIES

No antihistamines administered since left El Camino Hospital

ASTHMA

not taking Q-Var as done by self daily

PNEUMONIA

RECOVERED after 5 days of hosp. Treatments at El Camino, Mt. View 10-28 to  11-2-16; 5th case since 2003

LUNG BLOOD CLOTS & FRACTALS

Developed October 12; lung/lower ribs sore again today 11-13-2016

FEVERS 4 TIMES,  LAST DURING EVENING OF SAT. NOV. 12TH

EAR, NOSE & THROAT

  • Could see Dr. Melinda Moir at PAMF; 
  • Had hoarseness since Sept. 30th; 
  • Wish to sing with Tongan SFoA EPA Choir on Christmas Eve, Menlo Church   Chancel Choir on Christmas Eve Eve, and Christmas morning with John & Co.  At St. Raymond’s Menlo Park

FEET; MUST make appt. To see DR. KRIS at PAMF

BAD KNEES MUST SEE DR. JAMES HARTMAN AT PAMF

After Thanksgiving, 3 injections planned

PHYSICAL THERAPY

Needed for back: 8 degenerative discs = 2 cervical, 4 thoracic, 2 lumbar

OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY

Needed for week after cast is removed by PAMF’s Dr. Edward Moon

I’m SICK OF AGGRAVATION BY CERTAIN STAFF MEMBERS

  1. Lydia,  Jonathon LVN, Cynthia,  Marvi,  Argh,  

KUDOS FOR STAFF “BIG HELPERS” AT CEDAR CREST, SUNNYVALE

 = Station One RN s late p.m./early a.m. and LVN s, like Miss  Hermila and Ranvir 

HYPOTHYROID

  Abborrent levels of hormone affect both mood and metabolism

DENTAL HEALTH

Poor according to UCSF Student Clinic; Nine (9) cavities; very high Medi-Cal  share of cost due

DISABLED AND WITHOUT SERVICE DOG FOR MORE THAN 4 YEARS

Latest dog Teddy passed away in June 2012; no one has been identified to offer  a trained nor untrained for free or for full-cost; Teddy’s cost from the breeder  in Sebastopol was $8,500 plus licensing and vet fees when purchased in  January 2008

 

#1 Complaints / Potential Grievances =

  1. No Exit Conference on 11-11-2016 with feasible or realistic futures for patient/client/Medicare + Medi-Cal recipient; informed of discharge late in the afternoon on a state and national holiday,
  2. Never an introductory Care Conference conducted with patient/ resident – – 2 scheduled but none held,
  3. Three times confronted by Nursing staff to sign ‘outlandish’ legal document to discharge own sick, feverish body back on-to-the streets,
  4. At Cedar Crest since 11-2-2016; many routinely taken Rx medicines not administered, i.e. Omeprezole, 3 blood pressure meds, Levsin/ Hyoscyamine Sulfate, unable to get Maalox
  5. I was only offered one shower between 11-2 and 11-13-2016

Grandma’s Chicken Divan *

Save yourself a trip from the kitchen and use ingredients you’ve on-hand.

Or if you must, make a grocery list (send Ol’Lard Butt out to get exercise).

Make A List:

  • Broccoli
  • Chicken Breasts
  • Cream of Chicken Soup
  • One cup of white wine
  • Lemon
  • Sharp yellow or white cheddar cheese or provolone
  • Corn flakes browned in butter

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Whenever you are ready, your hands are clean, and the chicken is well rinsed, begin. Slice the chicken breasts, add a couple cloves of garlic, and stuff the cavity of the chicken. Use cut up/diced broccoli and add with your favorite herbs and cheese. I am not sure how Grandma used the corn flakes, but I would add them crushed on top.

Preheat oven to 300 degrees and bake for 90-100 minutes.

You may want to add more cheese later in the baking process.

You might also want to think about baking it at 325 and have it done within an hour in the oven.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Wine is as good as life to a man if it be drunk moderately; what is life then to a man that is without wine? For it was made to make men glad.

Wine measurably drank, and in season, bringeth gladness of the heart and cheerfulness of the mind.  ~ Ecclesiastics, 31:27-28

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  • Recipe from Confessions of An Oenophile – An American Family Cookbook