Healthy Hugs ~ Try 20 Seconds

The average length of a hug between two people is 3 seconds. But the researchers have discovered something fantastic.

When a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind.

The reason is that a sincere embrace produces a hormone called “oxytocin”, also known as the love hormone. This substance has many benefits in our physical and mental health, helps us, among other things, to relax, to feel safe and calm our fears and anxiety. This wonderful tranquilizer is offered free of charge every time we have a person in our arms, who cradled a child, who cherish a dog or a cat, that we are dancing with our partner, the closer we get to someone or simply hold the Shoulders of a friend.

A famous quote by psychotherapist Virginia Satir goes, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” Whether those exact numbers have been scientifically proven remains to be seen, but there is a great deal of scientific evidence related to the importance of hugs and physical contact. Here are some reasons why we should hug::

1. STIMULATES OXYTOCIN

Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that acts on the limbic system, the brain’s emotional centre, promoting feelings of contentment, reducing anxiety and stress, and even making mammals monogamous. It is the hormone responsible for us all being here today. You see this little gem is released during childbirth, making our mothers forget about all of the excruciating pain they endured expelling us from their bodies and making them want to still love and spend time with us. New research from the University of California suggests that it has a similarly civilising effect on human males, making them more affectionate and better at forming relationships and social bonding. And it dramatically increased the libido and sexual performance of test subjects. When we hug someone, oxytocin is released into our bodies by our pituitary gland, lowering both our heart rates and our cortisol levels. Cortisol is the hormone responsible for stress, high blood pressure, and heart disease.

2. CULTIVATES PATIENCE

Connections are fostered when people take the time to appreciate and acknowledge one another. A hug is one of the easiest ways to show appreciation and acknowledgement of another person. The world is a busy, hustle-bustle place and we’re constantly rushing to the next task. By slowing down and taking a moment to offer sincere hugs throughout the day, we’re benefiting ourselves, others, and cultivating better patience within ourselves.

3. PREVENTS DISEASE

Affection also has a direct response on the reduction of stress which prevents many diseases. The Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine says it has carried out more than 100 studies into touch and found evidence of significant effects, including faster growth in premature babies, reduced pain, decreased autoimmune disease symptoms, lowered glucose levels in children with diabetes, and improved immune systems in people with cancer.

4. STIMULATES THYMUS GLAND

Hugs strengthen the immune system. The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body’s production of white blood cells, which keep you healthy and disease free.

5. COMMUNICATION WITHOUT SAYING A WORD

Almost 70 percent of communication is nonverbal. The interpretation of body language can be based on a single gesture and hugging is an excellent method of expressing yourself nonverbally to another human being or animal. Not only can they feel the love and care in your embrace, but they can actually be receptive enough to pay it forward to others based on your initiative alone.

6. SELF-ESTEEM

Hugging boosts self-esteem, especially in children. The tactile sense is all-important in infants. A baby recognizes its parents initially by touch. From the time we’re born our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. The associations of self-worth and tactile sensations from our early years are still imbedded in our nervous system as adults. The cuddles we received from our Mom and Dad while growing up remain imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of that. Hugs, therefore, connect us to our ability to self love.

7. STIMULATES DOPAMINE

Everything everyone does involves protecting and triggering dopamine flow. Low dopamine levels play a role in the neurodegenerative disease Parkinson’s as well as mood disorders such as depression. Dopamine is responsible for giving us that feel-good feeling, and it’s also responsible for motivation! Hugs stimulate brains to release dopamine, the pleasure hormone. Dopamine sensors are the areas that many stimulating drugs such as cocaine and methamphetamine target. The presence of a certain kinds of dopamine receptors are also associated with sensation-seeking.

8. STIMULATES SEROTONIN

Reaching out and hugging releases endorphins and serotonin into the blood vessels and the released endorphins and serotonin cause pleasure and negate pain and sadness and decrease the chances of getting heart problems, helps fight excess weight and prolongs life. Even the cuddling of pets has a soothing effect that reduces the stress levels. Hugging for an extended time lifts one’s serotonin levels, elevating mood and creating happiness.

9. PARASYMPATHETIC BALANCE

Hugs balance out the nervous system. The skin contains a network of tiny, egg-shaped pressure centers called Pacinian corpuscles that can sense touch and which are in contact with the brain through the vagus nerve. The galvanic skin response of someone receiving and giving a hug shows a change in skin conductance. The effect in moisture and electricity in the skin suggests a more balanced state in the nervous system – parasympathetic.
Embrace, embrace with your heart.~

ShadowInTheHoosierNatlForest

 

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More Need for Gun Reform from Coast-to-Coast

 

True Stories from USA Today newspaper in late October and early November

“No Rumors, No Fakes – Just the Facts, Jack!”  and Why are minors being tried as adults?

The Dailey Sun~Chronicles

Volume VII, Issue 31                                   11 – 17 – 2018                         ***** Edition

 

Gun Control Gone Amuck in America

 First Along the North Atlantic Coast . . .

Dateline: Forsyth, Georgia

Authorities admit sheriff deputies fatally shot a 42-year-old woman confronting them with a pellet gun.

Dateline: Allentown, Pennsylvania

Police say the fatal shootings of two women stemmed from a family dispute.

Dateline: Hodges, South Carolina

Deputies say a 17-year-old shooting at a street sign accidently killed a man sitting at home on his front porch.

 

More from the South . . .

Dateline: St. Joseph, Tennessee

Authorities say a 10-year-old girl was accidently shot in the head by her twin brother.

 

Dateline: Birmingham, Alabama

A masked gunman was killed by a McDonald’s employee, who had opened up fire inside the restaurant.

 

Dateline: Dora, Alabama

Autopsy results show a city councilman fatally shot a woman then killed himself.

 

Dateline: Greenville, South Carolina

Police sought treatment for a pit bull who dug up a loaded .38-caliber pistol.

 

Dateline: Austin, Texas

State authorities announce that more than 200 school districts in Texas have adopted policies allowing staff to carry firearms.

 

Dateline: El Dorado, Arkansas

Two were killed and two others injured during an early Sunday morning shooting in their home.

                                                            =          =          =

 

In the North American Wild West . . .

Dateline: Cheyenne, Wyoming

A man convicted of 1st degree murder when he was 16 will soon be eligible for parole after serving 35 years in prison.

Dateline: Las Cruces, New Mexico

Tex Gilligan is recovering after he claims it was Charlie his Rottweiler dog, who shot him in the back after getting his paw caught in the trigger of a gun. They were out and about hunting for jackrabbits.

Dateline: Colorado Springs, Colorado

A 15-year-old who is accused of killing his mother and stepfather in Woodland Park. The minor will be tried as an adult.

Dateline: Helena, Montana

A good doctor died when his rifle discharged after he returned from a hunting trip.

Dateline: Fountain Hills, Arizona

92-year-old Anna Mae Blessing fatally shot her 72-year-old son, who wanted to place her in an assisted living facility.

Dateline: Lamar Township, Pennsylvania

A man and woman, believed to be “intoxicated on bath salts,” were shooting bullets into the sky to chase away alien lasers. The aliens actually were merely fireflies.

 

strikes again

Mass Shooting Fatality Statistics Since 1990

 

 

More in the American Heartland . . .

Dateline: St. Louis, Missouri

Retired 67-year-oldpolice Sgt. Harper is dead after a street shootout with another.

 

Dateline: Hebron, Nebraska

A 21-year-old is facing charges in connection with a fatal shooting of one man and wounding of his brother.

 

Dateline: West Valley City, Utah

A naked gunman is suspected of killing two people living in a trailer on the property behind his house.

 

Dateline: Chicago, Illinois

CPD officers seize an average of one illegal handgun per hour.

 

Dateline: Charlotte, North Caroline

A man was arrested for going on-line to hire a hit man.

 

                                                                        =          =          =

 

copyright MMXVIII – Max’s Scout Services & Communications of the Americas, LLC –

from Woodside, California 94062-2448

“The Dailey Sun~Chronicles”

 

 

Why are minors being tried as adults?

 

Must Legislatures See

More Evidence Supporting the Need for

Gun Control in the U.S.A. !?!

Trump is “Gaslighting” American Voters – Can the USA Survive?!?

Recognizing 11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting [ source: Psychology Today ]

Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used to gain power and maintain it… And it works too well, as President Donald J. Trump and his staff know.

Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works much better than you may think.

Anyone is susceptible to gaslighting, and it is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done slowly, so the victim doesn’t realize how much they’ve been brainwashed. For example, in the movie Gaslight (1944), a man manipulates his wife to the point where she thinks she is losing her mind.

In the book Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People – and Break Free, there is detail how “gaslighters” typically use the following techniques:

  1. They tell blatant lies.

You know it’s an outright lie. Yet they are telling you this lie with a straight face. Why are they so blatant? Because they’re setting up a precedent. Once they tell you a huge lie, you’re not sure if anything they say is true. Keeping you unsteady and off-kilter is the goal.

Newspapers have lost track of how many mistruths and outright lies the Trump Administration have spoken.

  1. They deny they ever said something, even though you have proof. 

You know they said they would do something; you know you heard it. But they out and out deny it. It makes you start questioning your reality—maybe they never said that thing. And the more they do this, the more you question your reality and start accepting theirs. Blame is directed away from the gaslighter.

Nor will they take responsibility (i.e. terrorist activities motivated by the President’s angry speeches and comments to and about the press).

  1. They use what is near and dear to you as ammunition. 

They know how important your kids are to you, and they know how important your identity is to you. So those may be one of the first things they attack. If you have kids, they tell you that you should not have had those children. They will tell you’d be a worthy person if only you didn’t have a long list of negative traits. They attack the foundation of your being.

  1. They wear you down over time.

This is one of the insidious things about gaslighting—it is done gradually, over time. A lie here, a lie there, a snide comment every so often…and then it starts ramping up. Even the brightest, most self-aware people can be sucked into gaslighting—it is that effective. It’s the “frog in the frying pan” analogy: The heat is turned up slowly, so the frog never realizes what’s happening to it.

Trump has been at it for almost two years in the presidency.

  1. Their actions do not match their words.

When dealing with a person or entity that gaslights, look at what they are doing rather than what they are saying. What they are saying means nothing; it is just talk. What they are doing is the issue.

  1. They throw in positive reinforcement to confuse you. 

This person or entity that is cutting you down, telling you that you don’t have value, is now praising you for something you did. This adds an additional sense of uneasiness. You think, “Well maybe they aren’t so bad.” Yes, they are. This is a calculated attempt to keep you off-kilter—and again, to question your reality. Also look at what you were praised for; it is probably something that served the gaslighter.

Republicans act like the end justifies the means (getting to the end point; namely, getting votes).

  1. They know confusion weakens people. 

Gaslighters know that people like having a sense of stability and normalcy. Their goal is to uproot this and make you constantly question everything. And humans’ natural tendency is to look to the person or entity that will help you feel more stable—and that happens to be the gaslighter.

The Republican Party is after votes.

  1. They project.

They are a drug user or a cheater, yet they are constantly accusing you of that. This is done so often that you start trying to defend yourself, and are distracted from the gaslighter’s own behavior.

Projection is a common psychological defense mechanism.

  1. They try to align people against you.

Gaslighters are masters at manipulating and finding the people they know will stand by them no matter what—and they use these people against you. They will make comments such as, “This person knows that you’re not right,” or “This person knows you’re useless too.” Keep in mind it does not mean that these people actually said these things. A gaslighter is a constant liar. When the gaslighter uses this tactic it makes you feel like you don’t know who to trust or turn to—and that leads you right back to the gaslighter. And that’s exactly what they want: Isolation gives them more control.

  1. They tell you or others that you are crazy.

This is one of the most effective tools of the gaslighter, because it’s dismissive. The gaslighter knows if they question your sanity, people will not believe you when you tell them the gaslighter is abusive or out-of-control. It’s a master technique.

  1. They tell you everyone else is a liar.

By telling you that everyone else (your family, the media) is a liar, it again makes you question your reality. You’ve never known someone with the audacity to do this, so they must be telling the truth, right? No. It’s a manipulation technique. It makes people turn to the gaslighter for the “correct” information—which isn’t correct information at all.

The more you are aware of these techniques, the quicker you can identify them and avoid falling into the gaslighter’s trap.

President Trump is remarkable in his implementation of these gaslighting techniques; justifying his actions.

 

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copyright 2018

Max’s Scout Services & Communications of the Americas, LLC

– for musement only –

Part V in a Series: Psychoanalytic Analysis of a Major Life-Changing Event [that of my ex-lover]

May Day 2018                                                                             5/18/18

Fridays used to have greater meaning for me and my buds. Now that I am approaching old folks age, I can still remember some of the details.

About 20 years ago, my best buddy was my spouse and we were very content to order an Avanti pizza, rent a movie from a local Blockbuster shop, and hang out in the living room as a family. This had been going on decades or so until we began watching the Friday night cable TV and rented movies, the kids would go out and play with their friends, as we separately went to the study and worked on the computer and Internet. Sadly, this got old too soon.

Nevertheless, we seemed successful to take this time to recharge for the active weekend and going back to work on Mondays.

My ex-wif seemed to enjoy giggling and flirting with our divorced next door neighbor along the fence line. No foolin’, I was able to witness it by looking out the kitchen window while I toiled on washing the pots and pans… silly me, I didn’t think too much of it.

 

20130109_102445
Hanging Out – Shhh… Julius Caesar is Napping

About the time our family had achieved “empty nest” status interpersonal relations in the household hit an all-time low during 2005 or so. Some of us were willing to work things out and the other parts of us were ready to give up, ‘cut bait’ and go fishing in some other water hole.

I felt like I was a lucky one who had Country Corner (pictured above) across the street for me to ‘chillax’, smoke some stogies, drink free excellent coffee and have intercourse (conversations) with neighbors and make new friends. Nowadays, the kind proprietors who operated the corner store have passed away (2017-2018) and are having intercourse amongst the angels in heaven.

Excuse me, I have to walk the dog… to be continued…

 

copyright 2018

Max’s Scout Services and Communications of the Americas, LLC

[ for musement only ]

A Little Bonnie Raitt from Oakland Coliseum – “Three Time Loser”

What in the world is going on?

Can you find a date for this weekend?

Maybe my approach is ineffective. Asking her/him to go see the Pope’s first movie may not be the best ‘ice breaker’, especially for a “Three-Time Loser.”

 

Have a wonderful Pentecostal Weekend!

Dear Abby, What are We Going to Do with Our Roommate “S”

Dear Abby:

A few minutes ago, [11 a.m., 5-2-18] “R” returned to this property. He went out back and grabbed mop heads and BBQ equipment. He also demanded that I write him a check, this one for $50.

Another unsettling event [6:30 p.m. on April 21) happened while I was lying in bed, someone came into my room without knocking. The familiar man was followed by “M”.

‘M’ mentioned that he would be moving back here. ‘M’ did not say that he was moving in immediately.

Is this property becoming a care home, like “A” has on Evergreen?

When I moved here in November, this property was an unlicensed SLE with a resident House Manager. I can handle change but it is really hard for me now as I try to rehabilitate my health.

For the record,

  • On Monday I had an Lumbar-5 procedure on my left side.
  • Tuesday, I received a cortisone shot in my right shoulder.
  • Thursday, I received Orthovasc silicone injections into both knees.
  • Next Tuesday, I get a second opinion from a psychiatrist at Palo Alto Medical Foundation.
  • Ten days ago, I had skin cancer removed from my left cheek (face, not butt ;<) ).
  • This coming Tuesday, I will be returning from same-day surgery. PAMF is doing an endoscopy and I will need to rest for 24 hours afterwards. (oops, Dr. Scott found an ulcer in my small intestine).

A couple weeks ago you offered to move me to the rear BR that was occupied about 2 years by “R”. Almost every day, I have done something to try to clean up the room. It is entirely unfurnished, so I have looked into renting furniture from Cort and getting installation from Xfinity/ Comcast. I’d estimate that rental contracts with Cort and Xfinity would cost $230 and $160 each, respectively. Ms. A. H.” want to rent it furnished. Well, I am have accepted your kind offer.

As one with a recognized disability receiving SS income and trying to supplement my income by writing and publishing, these potential rental arrangements may or may not be viable.

In the meantime, I invited my acquaintances – Matthew and Marie – to take a look at this property. Both are able to take care of themselves, become great housemates, and work for the owner. [I wrote the above a couple hours ago. What follows below was written after 9:00 p.m.]

“S”, in my opinion, is not at all ideal for this household. Furthermore, I from weeks of experience know that he will be a terrible roommate or housemate for me.

The over-riding concern is not his lack of personal hygiene. Not the fact that he appears to be completely deaf and dumb (unable to speak). Poor Scott is ill and not able to take care of himself. In the past, “S” has made no effort to go see doctors or a dentist.

In fact, “S” had agreed with “R” to go to the dentist at UCSF and an appointment was made for February 20. “S” stayed here the entire day.

Dental health may be a minor health issue for “S”. I believe his mental and physical health is very poor. Who will be responsible?

I do not know of anyone who could tolerate “S’s” behavior.

Gross behavior, making noise, and being unwilling to communicate (in writing) or otherwise are additional issues.

Frankly speaking, “S” habitually cuts farts, making no effort to leave the room, go outside, or go sit on the toilet.

“K” said he would manage “S”. During the first 4 hours, I have not seen anything “Ka / Ke” has done to help “S”. Something as simple as using the shower or eating dinner has not been offered to “S”. Now, “K” is out-of-town for weeks, I assume.

Living around “R” was very difficult. Sure, he was a “bully” but he tried to be considerate and urge others to contribute to maintaining the house. With “S”, I have seen little effort put forth on his part to maintain the physical conditions of the house during the weeks we roomed together during January, February, and March.

Note that “S” left suddenly on his own. Packing up and leaving about 9:00 p.m. Why? I believe, to avoid communicating with others and refusing to compromise and more successfully assimilate himself into a shared living situation. I ask for your help in any way that you can. Thank you.

His judgments and behavior are troublesome for the rest of us.

Other annoying and nuisance things that occur daily is “S” walking around half-naked, not washing his hands before preparing food in the kitchen, exposing others to his dermatitis problems with his feet and hands, peeing while the bathroom door is open, slamming doors, sliding the noisy back door during sleeping/quiet hours (10 pm to 6 am), not flushing the toilet, leaving water running in the shower and bathroom sink, laughing ‘diabolically’, putting soiled dishes and silverware back into the kitchen cabinet, rambling verbally on-and-on, and doing things without asking others if it is the right time to do whatever.

Lately, I spend practically an hour a day cleaning up things “S” should be doing in the kitchen, bathroom, dining room, back of the house patio, and the front yard and patio. For instance, I have to rewash dishes, pans, and silverware that “S” uses and attempts to wash and dry. His smoking behavior is not friendly particularly for the family with children that live in 1559 Shoreview. Moore is out of town and cannot intervene. “K” is out of the country and cannot provide care for Scott’s needs.

His diet is questionable given his overweight. “S” mostly consumes white bread, American cheese sandwiches, toast with butter, and sometimes eats the meals delivered Monday through Friday from Samaritan House’s Mobil~Wheels program. A couple days ago, “S” threw five salads from Draeger’s (worth about $11 to $15 each) in the garbage, without consulting with anyone.

Last night, “S” was up during dark hours smoking in the back seating area. I awoke and found a mess of smoking materials in the front patio smoking area.

He (“S”) utters sounds [sounding like a dog, goose, or goul) while sitting by himself that are both intelligible and scare some passersby along Shoreview Avenue. His attempts to say high and be friendly are largely misunderstood and affects other residents’ interrelations with neighbors and strangers walking by.

In summary, he needs better medical care. I have lived with schizophrenics before and his overt behaviors are symptoms that his prescription medicines are NOT effective. Any future delays in seeking proper medical care only make matters worse.

“M” has been a ‘God’s send’ around here. He does not deserve to assume responsibilities for Scott’s physical, spiritual, and mental health.

As a house manager, “M” has much to be responsible for already. Is this now a ‘care home’?

pexels-photo-88808.jpeg

I hate to think that either “M” or “K” are educated, qualified, and licensed to supervise occupant’s health and personal needs.

It is not fair to them to have “S’s” issues dumped on them.

Today, I learned that a local restaurant gave “S” a job washing dishes. Yet at home he doesn’t. Such is irony. Can we discuss what needs to be purchased for our home? Not likely. But I tried on Sunday.

How can “S” keep a job, keep a place to live, and become healthy? These ought not be our responsibility nor our worries.

Sincerely,

David A. Dailey, Occupant in Room B, 1561 Shoreview, San Mateo, DADailey@gmail.com;

Part II of a Multi-Party Psychoanalytic Review of Significant Life-Changing Event [of an ex-lover]

After an afternoon’s rest, it is simpler to reflect on the past, ‘what ifs’, contemporary music, doing a bit of cookin’, and achieving a better sense of PEACE. I credit Pastor Father Fabio Medina (St. Anthony’s Menlo Park) for reminding me recently that a person needs to first be AT PEACE before one can understand The Word and the world.

If we are successful at PEACE and understanding, we can better explain what it ALL means: Life, the Gospels, and our pathway in the future. I wish youth could do this and furthermore find their ‘calling’ in life utilizing the talents, time, and treasure they have to offer mankind and their immediate community.

Some Americans, I have to accept, are stout Democrats. But why would a stout Hillary Clinton supporter marry a Republican that doesn’t believe in the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost?!? I suppose, only God knows.

Hillary Supporters
Where are the eyes and ears of Hillary supporters?

In my latest ‘epistle’ I addressed the issues I should have regarding an ex-wif finding another mate and better ‘put myself in her place’ in order to settle matters between the two of us and a third person, namely our daughter.

Here is an excerpt of my earlier writing:

Naw, she (the EX) could not understand how elated I was that she would be able to retire next week and not have to work in a preschool daycare center until she aged to 80 or so. My vows specifically stated ‘until death do y’all part’ and I had still felt responsibility for her health insurance premiums, mortgage payments, property taxes, raising our daughter, and the re-sale value on a $2 to $3,000,000.00 house in beautiful County of San Mateo.

Our children are the very most people in our lives; well, this is true 80% of the time.

Excuse me, I need to go check on the Lasagne in the oven and go take a cat nap.

 

copyright 2018

Max’s Scout Services & Communications of the Americas, LLC

[ for musement only ]